Eulogy: Donivin Kostamo (RIP my son)
January 12, 2019
EULOGY for my oldest son Donivin Kostamo (RIP)
EULOGY for my son Donivin Kostamo
Aug. 7th 2003 – March 11th 2018
RIP DONIVIN KOSTAMO
Words fall short in time like this even to describe why this and that… there’s no point of scaling the “how” or “if only” or “I wish I could bring back time”. Surely Death is part of life and Life is part of death- it is just the law of God’s nature. Learning to make peace with that is like walking in God’s grace.
I remember coming back from grocery shopping, and brought home a bucket of ice cream and I put it in the freezer, and after two days next thing you know, that bucket of ice cream was almost half empty. Then another time he would ask me if he could have some ice cream. And I said, “Sure, just one spoonful okay”. He said, “Ok mom (sounding so innocent and politely) you mean this spoonful mom?” (He took a big serving spoon instead…just to make me laugh). I said to him, “nice try!” I said to myself, “the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.” He got the idea from his dad…
Then another time I asked him, “I noticed you like the color black. Don’t you ever want a different color t-shirt apart from black? Because I always see you wearing the same color like you have one for Monday, tues weds…?” Then he said, “Oh mom, I like this color. It keeps my life simple. It’s my favourite color!”
As a mother learning how to adjust from every single stage a child grows up is one of the most challenging time to face. As I watched my son grow up, from his baby cries to his contagious smile, or laughable jokes to baking his favorite chocolate chip cookies, … or transitioning from one school to another, making new friends. Our home was his safe place to release his emotions of frustration and anger or overwhelming issues, or even his questions about the world view, his own self view, God’s view, and etc. And even though he struggled more in his own emotional journey in the aspect of life, all I can do is love him unconditionally knowing that there will be storms in life, or rain will pour down, but my greatest hope was he would see the light of grace and learn how to be the rainbow in the midst of the storm.
Even tho it broke my heart now that he is not here with us anymore. I still believe he will find and experience love and peace in the spiritual realm with God. Even tho he chose to end his life, the life he knew, I believe he is building a brand new one with God and a new home with buckets full of ice cream.
Our child will always teaches us and empower us to discover something we thought we could never do or be. And vice versa. I’d like to share with you all what my son taught me during the challenging time raising him and watched him grow. And it led me to this poem I found from a book called Conscious Parenting by Dr. Shefali. To all parents out there like myself. This one is for you and for me:
“May you be blessed with a child… Who defies you So you may learn to release control
With one who doesn’t listen – So you may learn to tune in
With one who loves to procrastinate – So you learn the beauty of stillness
With one who forgets things – So you learn to let go of attachments
With one who is extra sensitive – So you learn to be grounded
With one who is inattentive – So you learn to be focused
With one who dares to rebel – So you learn to think outside the box
With one who feels afraid – So you learn to trust God
May you be blessed with a child…
Who teaches you – That it’s never about them – And all about you..”
-by Dr. Shefali
Donivin has taught me well something about myself as a woman and a mother. He taught me something I dislike which is PATIENCE and ultimately ACCEPTANCE. It is like he was silently saying to me, “Accept me for who I am even tho I make mistakes. Accept me for what I like to do even tho it is not according to your expectation of me. I AM ENOUGH”. My favourite part was he reminded me how to add humor in the midst of the storm.
When I almost lost my husband in a plane crash accident four yrs ago, Donivin became the rainbow in the midst of that storm- He looked straight into my eyes and said, “Mom, Im worried about you, you need to eat, and I know you worry about dad if he is going to live or not, but please do eat, don’t worry too much.” Then he gave me a big bear hug as he watched me cry. He comforted me like God used him to calm the storm inside of me.
Dear son of mine. You are now safe in God’s hand. Step into the light of grace. Breathe the love of life where you are right now. God will parent you now as I am embracing to let you go. But you will always be here in my heart until we meet again. I will always love you my strong willed beautiful child. Always! Enjoy Heaven my son!
Love, your mom
Dear God,
He is yours now. Tell him I love him always.
For God knows his name, and in our Father’s eyes with a Divine mother’s love, my son is always loved and forgiven!
AGAPE LOVE is unconditional. I believe God’s ultimate goal for us is not only feel the comfort, but character development when we go thru the storm in life and the joy in life.
There’s life after death and that life is with our Father God Immanuel with a Divine Mother’s LOVE that’s beyond any understanding!
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Songs that gave me peace to heal from all this and even tho my husband and I and our other 3 children still feeling broken hearted, we will keep on breathing the breath of this LIFE.
Click the highlighted link below:
“Thy Will be done” by Hillary Scott:
And this one is my favourite from Danny Gokey: Tell Your Heart to Beat Again
